Are you tired of carrying the weight of stress every single day?

Feel like you’re constantly in survival mode, running on fumes? I get it—life can be intense, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. But what if I told you there’s a simple, powerful tool already within you that can instantly shift that stress and bring you back to calm?

Yes, I’m talking about your breath.

In my latest episode of Raw & Radiant, I had the privilege of resharing a truly transformative conversation with my dear friend, Marsha VanW from the Own Your Choices, Own Your Life podcast. Together, we dive deep into the magic and science of breathwork—how something so natural and simple can completely change the way you handle stress and unlock deep emotional healing. [TUNE IN HERE]

The Power of Breathwork: Why You Need It NOW 

If you’ve never thought about how you breathe, this is your wake-up call. Breathwork isn’t just about taking deep breaths—it’s about using the right techniques to shift your nervous system from fight-or-flight mode into a state of calm and control. Imagine having the ability to tap into peace, clarity, and even joy, no matter what’s going on around you. Sounds powerful, right?

Breathwork has literally saved my life. It guided me out of toxic patterns, helped me reconnect with myself, and gave me the strength to make life-changing decisions that served my highest good. In the episode, I explain exactly how you can harness the same power to heal your own body and mind.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode: 

 • How breathwork helps you manage stress instantly. 

 • The difference between your sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems (and why it matters).

 • Practical breathing techniques you can use right now to calm your mind and shift your energy.

 • How my personal journey with breathwork helped me break free from toxic relationships and reclaim my power.

Feeling Stuck? Here’s How to Shift Instantly 

The thing is, most of us are so busy that we don’t realize we’re not even breathing properly. Yup—chances are, you’re holding your breath, taking shallow chest breaths, or breathing in a way that’s keeping your body in a constant state of stress. And that’s where breathwork comes in.

In the podcast, I share the three-part conscious connected breathing pattern that can help you break free from this cycle. It’s simple but incredibly powerful. By focusing on your breath and allowing yourself to release stored tension, you can experience deep emotional shifts in just minutes. Trust me—once you start doing this, you’ll wonder how you ever lived without it.

Why This Matters Right Now 

We live in a fast-paced world that demands so much from us, and it’s easy to feel disconnected from our own bodies. But you have the power to change that, starting with something as simple as your breath. Your body knows how to heal itself—you just need to give it the space to do so.

And that’s the beauty of breathwork. It’s accessible, it’s natural, and it’s YOURS.

Ready to Start Healing Today? 

So, if you’re ready to stop living in survival mode and start thriving, it’s time to tap into the magic of breathwork. Listen to the latest episode of Raw & Radiant, where I break it all down with Marsha VanW, and let’s get you breathing (and living) in alignment with your body’s innate wisdom.

[Click here] to listen to the episode now and learn how you can transform your stress and heal today.

And if you’re ready to take it a step further, I invite you to join me for a breathwork session, where you can experience these powerful shifts firsthand. You’re just a few breaths away from a whole new world.

Key Takeaways: 

 • Your breath holds the key to instant stress relief and emotional transformation.

 • By breathing deeply and consciously, you can shift from survival mode into a state of calm and clarity.

 • Breathwork is a simple yet powerful tool to reconnect with yourself and create lasting change.

Join Me in a Breathwork Session [HERE]

TRANSCRIPT:

Swell AI Transcript: R&R Ep 37 - Guest highlight on Own Your Choices Own Your Life.mp3

SPEAKER_01:
Hello, Magical Raw and Radiant Tribe. Today's episode I am sharing with you a empowering conversation that I had as a guest on my friend Marsha Van W's podcast, Own Your Choices, Own Your Life. A little bit of background about Marsha is that she is a six-time best-selling author. in her podcast, in her stories, in her lessons. She shares how as a parent she's dealt with teen substance abuse that literally tore her her family unit apart. Marsha has been published seven times and she is on a mission to continue to help women and men speak, share and publish their stories. So in this episode that I have this beautiful organic conversation with Marsha, I share the science behind breathwork, the steps and the mechanics of breathing and the power of breathwork and understanding your sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system. Also, I share how this work can improve and impact your health. There is so much wisdom and so much magic in this episode. It is truly an opportunity for Marsha and I to have this beautiful conversation about healing and health. Enjoy the episode. Enjoy the show. Go follow Marsha on Own Your Choices, Own Your Life. I look forward to receiving your comments, your feedback, and inviting you to share this episode, share all the episodes of Raw and Radiant when you binge listen, because it helps me to get my story, it helps me to get my mission and my passion out into the world, and it helps the podcast to grow. So until next time, enjoy this episode. Welcome to Raw and Radiant, the podcast that ignites your spirit and empowers your soul. Are you ready to embark on a transformative journey? Here we give other women permission to embrace their truth. To find the courage to choose themselves first. Because guess what? You are not alone. Join us in this massive journey of empowerment and courage. Together we'll illuminate your inner spark, empowering you to embrace the radiant light within and show you how magical you are. It's time to unleash your potential and make a difference in this world. Are you ready to step into the raw and radiant version of you?

SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the show today, Victoria.

SPEAKER_01: I'm thrilled to have you here. Thank you, Marcia. I'm so excited to be here.

SPEAKER_00: Oh, so we have been in the online space, I think, for the last six months, really. I don't know if I knew you much before the mastermind that we were both a part of with our good friend, Megan. Hello, if you're listening. And I know then we got to meet in person in Sedona. And I was just taken away by your I don't know, you said such a beautiful, calm energy and presence. And then you took us through a breathwork session, which was incredible. So I knew I wanted to be able to bring you on here to share a little bit of your backstory, because there's also the other piece that I think I loved is that we're in the same age bracket. I just think so.

SPEAKER_01: That's the first thing that I brought into the space in the mastermind. I'm like, yay. Thank God. There's someone in my age demographics.

SPEAKER_00: I know that sounds so silly if you're listening, but trust me in the, in the online space, it's really only been in the last year or so that I'm seeing more and more women in their fifties and, and doing like in this space. So I, I love it. And I'm so grateful that we connected.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm so grateful to and thank you Megan if you are listening thank you for bringing us together in that beautiful space I'm like so transformed from these past six months and especially the retreat that we got to attend for a week and Sedona that was life change. Thank you for the reflection, Marsha, of the space that I was able to hold for you in the Breathwork session. And if I could just transmute how that room looked into my… There really isn't any words that I can put to the energy of that room that I was able to facilitate for. It was just this beautiful temple and this sacred space. I was able to just be this conduit of safety for y'all to go through this magical experience. And each one of you had such transformative, different experiences. And that is what I recognize the power of breathwork has given me full body goosebumps right now, just to know and recognize, I led an online session yesterday and Last week, she was in a completely different space than she was this week. And so it's really coming back to there's so much wisdom and power in our breath that we get to move through life in this beautiful, magical way.

SPEAKER_00: So wisdom and power in our breath, that one just landed for me when you said that. What does that mean, wisdom and power in our breath? Because you're like, so first off for anybody listening, we were literally in a small temple. It was, I don't know how else to describe that space. And I think it's safe to say, I mean, I was very immersed in my own breathwork experience, but I do believe that everybody had a very different visceral experience. And that is what can come from breathwork. So I do wanna talk a little bit about breathwork. And then you said wisdom, and what was the other word you just said?

SPEAKER_01: there there's wisdom and magic in our breath there's there's there's just so much so what that means for me marcia is wow we live this life on this on this earthly plane in this human meat suit what i call it right like our souls in this meat suit and By recognizing how we are breathing and how we are moving through day to day like we can get stuck in that angst and breathe from our chest and our fight or flight in that sympathetic nervous system. and maybe somebody cut us off in the traffic, or maybe we just had some anxiety, something happened. And if we just take a pause and feel how we're breathing, even if we're holding our breath, I had someone reach out to me, I'm like, wow, I recognize that I hold my breath a lot. And so that wisdom is within the breath in that sacred pause. And when we breathe in this three-part conscious connected breathing pattern that I facilitate, is that whatever your body wants to release at that time, at that moment, is what will be released. Your body is so innately wise and that's what I call the magic and the wisdom is within the breath. It's like recognizing, am I breathing from my diaphragm? Am I breathing from that parasympathetic nervous system? That calm and knowing that we have the power to take a step back, take a pause, and to change our nervous system regulation and be able to come at the situation in a different way.

SPEAKER_00: Okay, I love that you're sharing this because I do want to go here because I want to share what breath work can do for the body. So when you talk about, for people who are listening, can you explain sympathetic and parasympathetic systems, please?

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love this question. It's the nerdy part of me that comes out and loves to talk about it. So our sympathetic nervous system is our fight or flight. It's when there's a bear and we need to run and there's that angst. It's where our cortisol level increases and we need to get the F out of the way, right? our sympathetic or parasympathetic nervous system is when we breathe from our diaphragm, when we breathe from our belly, it's our calm, it's our relaxation, it's also known as our digestive, where our body gets to digest and it's just this state of I almost want to say bliss. And also, it's just that peace when you can sit in that stillness and that pause. And so, throughout our day, throughout our life, we can be in this fight or flight. Our body can only stay in that fight or flight for so long and then it comes to this visceral reaction where we're body is just like clenched. If you could see me right now like I'm just clenched in this ball and it's really really hard to live from that space but a lot of us do and so to redirect our thoughts, redirect our mental chatter in our brain and tap into the breath, then we can live from that calm and that peace and really come from a place of response rather than that fight or flight where we're reactive.

SPEAKER_00: That's incredible, thank you so much for sharing that. There was something else that hit when we were doing one of the exercises and I understand sympathetic and parasympathetic, consciously I understand them. I also am learning to recognize when I am in one or the other and when, like, especially when I don't need to be, it's like, there is no bear, there's no bear, Marcia, like, why is your body acting this way? And it's so interesting to me because then I see the ripple that I might not notice it in my breath, but I notice it in my digestive system. Then I notice it in my sleep. Then I notice it and it's like the ripple. All of a sudden, it might be a couple days later. I'm like, oh, right. I still am this knot. And the other thing that came up for me that was such a real life example is when we were doing a journaling exercise, it was uncomfortable. It was like it was early on in the week. really uncomfortable things that we were doing. And I remember Meg saying, pay attention to your breath. And I'm like, Oh, what breath? I'm not breathing. Exactly. Like it was amazing how I recognize that when I'm talking about something difficult, when I'm journaling about something difficult, my system like clamps straight up without me even realizing it. So subconsciously seeing how powerful that breath is, and we don't even realize what's happening.

SPEAKER_01: Right, right. Like even right now, like recording this episode, like I have a little bit of like, oh my gosh, am I saying the right thing? Am I doing the right thing? And my, my internal breath, my internal system is like, and this, I'm kind of holding my breath. But what's so beautiful for me is I recognize I'll put my hand on my stomach, on my belly, and I'll just relax my shoulders, maybe close my eyes, breathe in and out through my nose. When we're in that fight or flight, we tend to breathe from our mouth too, if you ever notice, and that breath either is really short and shallow in the chest, or it is that clenching and that holding and that grasping. So if you can create maybe that visceral response in your belly, And just take that long, slow inhale in through the nose and out through the nose. And it's just like even sometimes a few rounds, three or four rounds of in through your nose to a count of four and out through your nose to a count of seven.

SPEAKER_00: I'm already doing it. I'm sorry, I just have to remember I'm doing a podcast right now. I'm like, oh, wow, I need this. So that was my question I want to share with people who are listening and going, wait, I probably never really even paid attention to my breath, which I know. Some people don't do. And until you're in a space, like a version of me from probably three or four years ago would be rolling her eyes right now going, you're talking about what? Like, just breathe. And so somebody who is listening, what is one of the fastest ways that they can create that change to recognize what they're doing with their breath?

SPEAKER_01: Yeah. I think it's just like what I just said is just to put that tactile response onto your stomach, your hand onto your stomach, so you can sense and get that. I'm a visual learner and also a tactile learner, so how do you learn best? How do you feel best? And just pause for a moment. I have people that go into their into their closet and just take a five minute break and really do that four in seven out. And the longer you exhale on the out, the calmer your nervous system becomes. And, and just make sure that you're doing it through your nose because there is such a just a regulation that happens through that nasal breathing.

SPEAKER_00: Okay, that's cool. I did not know that. The other question I have for you in this is that it's always a surprise how people breathe in the opposite way that they should. So, right? So when you say put your hand on your, and I mean, if you're listening to this, please, please, please listen to this because you might be thinking you're breathing and you're actually going in a response that is much more about your fight or flight system. So if my hand is in my belly, what is the very first thing that should happen when I breathe? I think this is really valuable because you, about this, but I don't think people realize, and one of the things I used to do with my own clients is like, where do we start breathing in? They put their hand on their stomach, on their diaphragm area, and it did the complete opposite of what it should do. So can you explain that?

SPEAKER_01: Yeah. Yeah. I want to go back to when I was a personal trainer and recognizing that as a personal trainer, like we are taught, especially as women, we stand up straight, nice and tall and pull her belly in and, and like, everything is like tightened from the stomach, right? And then I learned as I was running, because I also have a long line of marathons in my background, I learned that when I can relax my stomach, when I can allow my belly, my belly button to be pushed out on the inhale, So it's like completely opposite of what we have been taught, especially as women. So when you're inhaling through your nose, your belly button is pressing away from you. And then when you're exhaling, that's when the reverse direction happens, that belly button comes into the spine.

SPEAKER_00: I love that you did that. Thank you. Because I mean, it's shocking how many people don't do it, but it's also a reminder. That's where that comes from. Because you take a picture, you suck it in. You suck it in is what you do. And then, you know, I often say, if you think of your lungs as balloons, they're quite big. And if you're always doing that, you're literally using just like this top little third of your volume. You're not even accessing what else is available. Plus we're creating this disconnect in our body. Absolutely. Moving.

SPEAKER_01: I like to see the diaphragm as like an umbrella, you know, when you have your umbrella closed, right? And then you, you unvelcro it to open it up and then it kind of springs to a half life or a quarter life. Most people when we're breathing from our chest, that's all the diaphragm is doing is just springing into that quarter life. when you can inflate that or press that that umbrella to its full expansion that's when we get to utilize the beautiful organs the diaphragm that we have within there to take that full enriching breath and that's so beautiful also to see this visceral that umbrella is completely open. You're super oxygenating all the cells within your body too. So it's getting all this vital life force energy that it needs and that it desires your body. That's where it becomes so innately wise.

SPEAKER_00: Okay. I love this explanation. So when we did this in Sedona and I've done lots of breathwork sessions, I shared with you afterwards that one of the things that I felt like I've done breathwork sessions where you work on trying to get to a longer hold. And every time I've done them, I have gotten, and I can do it because of course I'm a generator and I'm like, of course I can do it.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah. Mark it off the list. I did it.

SPEAKER_00: But I was always in a space of contraction when I did this long breath hold with you. I, it felt, it felt easy and light. It felt like, oh my gosh, like I actually felt like I was like levitating. I don't know how else to describe it. I did. And I held it for longer. And there were times where you were like, okay, now release it. I'm like, I feel good though. Like I felt good. So this is such an interesting, I just want to have you talk a little bit about why, what breath work you do, why it's different from what others do.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, breathwork has been around for thousands of years. I mean it's there's yoga in the yoga tradition, there's pranayama, there's lots of different variations. The one that really has resonated with me that has created such a deep life-changing transformation for me is a three-part conscious connected breathing pattern. So it's all done how I hold this space and it's very important to me to hold such a safe space because That's when our nervous system feels comfortable to relax, right? And so I create this safe container, whether it's in person or online, that you are safe, and I bring about affirmations. You're lying down, and I bring you into this meditation of connecting to your body, connecting to the earth beneath you, allowing you to be held by the earth, right? And then through the music is when I create this beautiful peak experience with this three-part conscious connected breathing pattern. It's all done in and out through the mouth and I know we've been talking about breathing through the nose and now I'm talking about breathing through the mouth but what that's doing is it's actually creating the sacral in the base of your spine at your tailbone you have what's called a sacral pump and so breathing in this fashion you're creating this pump in your spine to release fluid into the brain, into the pineal gland, which is releasing hormones. So that's the sciency part of it. And so in this three-part breath, you are really oxygenating all the cells, within your body. And as the music goes along, I invite in these breath holds. And it's really, really powerful to witness. I'll bring in maybe three or four breath holds within a session, a 45 minute session. And the first one, maybe you get in that monkey mind and you're not able to hold your breath. Oh my gosh, the monkey mind says, I gotta breathe, I gotta breathe. Okay, that's fine. But as you go further and further into this experience and you're feeling the richness of the oxygen in your body you're able to hold that breath longer and like you said like the last the last breath hold like i'm pretty sure you held your breath for a two or three minute song like that's what's powerful and then i like purposely knocking you i'm like come back come back

SPEAKER_00: I'm serious. If you're listening to this, like I, I know it was, I knew it was long, but I didn't know how long it was and it didn't feel constricted. That's what felt so different for me. It felt light and easy. And I felt like I could feel the oxygen like from head to toe all. I was like, Oh, I feel alive. Like my body feels alive. And that was such a cool experience. And that's why I wanted you to be able to explain that because I've done tons of breath work. experiences. Nothing was even remotely close to that.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah. And what I want to say too, Marsha, is that on that final breath hold that I offer too, like maybe somebody listening to the show is, well, I'm going to, I'm scared that maybe I won't breathe again. Your body come back to the wisdom of your body. Your body will breathe. Your body will breathe. Like there's no death involved. It's simply your body knows when it needs to do what it needs to do.

SPEAKER_00: It does. The body is, is brilliant. Your subconscious mind will never let you do something that's against your own moral values. And I also want to like, just paraphrase that. I mean, I could probably do that session and have a different experience every single time. Right. Like I was very immersed. in an environment that was conducive for me to let go and just be me if i'm going to do my this kind of breath work when i've got like noise and chaos all around me probably not going to have the same experience so and but but i have the best experience for that day

SPEAKER_01: yeah yeah and i mean going back to you like there were five other people in the room with you and everybody had a different experience there were visceral reactions of release and purging and letting go There was laughter, there was tears, there was peace and calm. And that is very true. Like I said at the beginning of the show, like I had a client that I have been seeing for the last six months. I saw her last week for a virtual session. She was so peaceful, so calm. And this week she had chaos that came into her life. And it was very much a purging session yesterday. She needed to let go of the old stories of the old bullshit that she was told and allow herself to come in values, her integrity, her boundaries, and to create the safety within her body and the trust within her body to express those boundaries. So she had to let go of the muck. I love that word that you use, like she had to let go of the muck to sift through the muck and to be able to express herself. And so her breathwork session was so different. So it is, your body is letting go what it needs to go when it needs to go.

SPEAKER_00: God, this is incredible. Thank you for sharing everything that you're sharing. And when we do this, my other question for you is like, if I want to improve my health, I'm probably going to be exercising four plus times a week. I'm going to be getting my 10K steps in. I'm going to be doing, talk to me about the cumulative benefits of breath work. How often should I do this, should do this practice and the long-term benefits of it?

SPEAKER_01: Yeah. Um, first I want to say, I want to go back to, if I had been doing this breathwork practice when I was an Olympic weightlifter, how different, Oh, I do want to go there for sure.

SPEAKER_00: But yeah.

SPEAKER_01: How different the outcomes of my lifts would have been, but I didn't know this practice then. So the question is how often should you do it? Like I asked myself, I I'll do it weekly. Some people have done it daily for a whole entire year, but it's really what resonates with you. And when I feel the resistance of asking myself, should I do this today, is generally when I need to do it. There's shit that needs to be let go of. So coming to your question about like, how does it benefit our physical being? So There's a book by James Nestor that he talks about how we can breathe in this manner and we really oxygenate ourselves that we're actually training our body to act to breathe at like altitude. Like if you can, if you run. with, through your nose. So I am a chronic mouth breather when I run. That's how I taught myself. And so last year when I was in Colorado, I was running at 8,000 feet through my nose and I'm like, wow, my system feels so much more alive and so much more like healthy. So, um, I also want to drop into, Marsha, that my dad died of COPD. And so when I witnessed him at the end of his life, he had oxygen in his nose and he was chronically 24-7 breathing out of his mouth. And I would say, dad, you need to use your nose. You need to use that oxygen. Well, there were some heavy words at the time. And I just recognize that if he if maybe potentially he breathed through his nose and utilized that diaphragm, how much stronger his lungs would have been. He could have elongated his life. So that's, I mean, that's the beauty in using our whole entire body.

SPEAKER_00: I love that explanation. Thank you. Thank you. for sharing that and everything that you have. And obviously we lead ourselves in areas with things that we have found have been a benefit for us, right? Like we share the tools with others that we experienced firsthand. And I know a little bit about your journey with Breathwork and how like vital and important it's been in your life. When were you first introduced to it?

SPEAKER_01: It was over four years ago. I was living in San Diego at the time. and I was living on Coronado Island and I was kind of like stuck and trapped. I was in a toxic relationship that wasn't serving me and I needed to get out. I was really desperate and lonely in this relationship and there was depression and a whole lot of things. And I just told myself, I'm like, you need to get out of the house. You need to get off the island. You need to go do something different and you need to take care of you. Like, I don't know what it was and I don't know what kept feeding me that, but it did. And so I found this yoga studio in downtown San Diego and fell in love with the yoga studio, fell in love with the community. And on a Sunday evening, they had breathwork and I'm like, okay, you told yourself you're going to do something new. So get your butt signed up. And as I was driving to that class, like I said, it was a Sunday evening and I was crossing over the bridge. If you're not familiar with San Diego, downtown in Coronado is connected by this massively huge 90 degree bridge that goes over San Diego Bay. And I was driving there and I felt this visceral pull of my mind saying, ooh, don't go. This doesn't feel good. You don't know about this. but my body, my intuition going, yes, go. And it was so this comparison or this contrast within me. I'm like, really shut up monkey mind. I'm going to go. And so I found myself in the, in, in the yoga studio and I signed myself in and I walked into the studio and I'm like, Oh, holy shit. There's 40 other people in this class. What have I gotten myself into? And I mean, I was already committed at that point. So I found an empty mat and I lied down or I sat down next to this beautiful soul who really welcomed me into the space. And we had a lovely conversation. And for the next 45 minutes, I was held in this sacred journey by who are now my mentors, the healing couple. But I felt myself, like you said, after the class, like I was literally levitating off the ground. I'm like, what the hell just happened? It was so trippy. And I just said, I want more. I was not on any psychedelics. I was not on any outside medication. I literally got high on my own supply. I literally got high on my breath. And so as I was leaving the yoga studio to go back home, it was now like eight thirty and it was pitch dark. It was October and it was a full moon. And so I'm a cancer sign. And anything that has to do with water, lakes, ocean rivers, streams, I just get this energetic buzz. So as I was leaving and going back over the bridge, I could feel the energy coming up from the water underneath the car and into my body. And then there was a massive full moon coming up over Tijuana. And like, I still tell this story four and a half years later, and I have full body goosebumps. I get just so visceral within my system that I continue to go back. And then what happened is, is I was moving to Costa Rica with my ex-husband at the time. And I asked the healing couple, I'm like, hey, I want to do this online. And they're like, no, we don't do this online. Well then fast forward then that's when COVID happened, and everything was online so I was like, I'm so grateful I get to go to Costa Rica, and you guys get to facilitate for me so I continue to do the practice with them holding me in this safe space. And while I was in this toxic relationship, Marsha, I recognized that anytime I would come out of these breathwork sessions, feeling so alive and so like the light shining from my chest and just so expansive, I would come back into the relationship and I was just like being squashed by this massive piano or this, this elephant on me. And I'm like, whoa, like the balloon, the air had just been deflated from the balloon. I'm like, what is going on? And so that's how breathwork has been so transformational for me in my life is because I literally, through the power of my breath, through the power of being held in that safe space and recognizing that I am a beautiful light and soul, that this relationship wasn't serving me. It was very toxic for me. It was very debilitating for my internal light. And so it was after one breathwork session and a big fight that I took myself down to the beach with my chocolate lab, Olivia. And I probably walked for four plus miles. And the only thing that was coming to my to my soul is I will never abandon myself again. I will never abandon myself again. And it was probably 48 hours later that I packed up everything I owned. I packed up my chocolate lab. And if you know, leaving a foreign country like that with a dog, it takes a lot of things to fall into place to leave the country. And it was amazing how everything aligned in perfect order to leave the country with her. So I left Costa Rica. I left this beautiful life from the outside looking in. That was fabulous living on the beach and in the jungle and were in country and I came back to the states and I just kept telling myself I will never abandon myself again. Now fast forward, those words have changed because I recognize those words are a little bit of a negative influence into my system is I choose me. I choose me. I choose me. I choose me over and over again when there's decisions that come up. How is this best going to serve me? How is this best going to be in my highest good? So thank you for asking that question. Thank you for holding the space, those of you that listened, because it is very emotional for me and it's more now an emotional piece where I am so proud of myself for doing that. I am so proud of myself for leaning into the breath for saying yes to me and for continually, after 50 years of living in these toxic relationships, of choosing me and living the life that I do.

SPEAKER_00: Oh, I love thank you for sharing all that because, again, it's like a big story of choosing yourself resiliency transformation, what you choosing to say yes or no to like what you allow in your life. And I think that there's a piece here where age feels like a piece of wisdom, in a sense, and I'm only saying this from a standpoint that it's taken me most of my life to know what I say yes and no to. And I was yes for everything. Like I was like, yeah, okay, I'll find I'll do it. Oh, they want to treat me like crap. And they expect more from me. Well, I'll show them I can do it. Like it's such a it was such a very toxic cycle that I could see many times over, but I feel like it's hit a point where it's like, No, this is what I choose. And not everyone will understand it.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, exactly. I mean, and that's the thing, like, I say the first half of my life, I was a narcissistic mother, so I was raised in this toxic environment and I showed up as the little person that is now being loved by me, but she showed up to please someone else, to make sure that room was safe for her to walk into, to make sure that the other person was happy. And the manipulation and the isolation of being an only child, first of all, and then having to be in that environment created the first half of my life of how I showed up. And then it was that day on the beach where I will no longer abandon myself again. It was like this big lightning strike that happened. And I'm like, wow, okay, those were lessons. It was hard. And now I get to say yes to the things that feel good to me. Whereas before it was always, like you said, it was always, yes, it was always yes. And, and, and really like not sitting with how does that feel? And how does that make me be better person?

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's really, really, really powerful. I, you have been, I think of, you know, what you do, but you've also come from like, so as a, as a master breathwork facilitator, now you've spent a lot of years as an athlete and a lot of years as a, and I, I believe nothing is lost. I believe everything is always teaching us something as we go. And so when you look at the, um, your past experiences, you have like, you competed in Ironman's triathlons, marathons, Olympic weightlifting. And we have great conversations because that's what my husband's in, getting ready for worlds. So it's always interesting to listen and be connected to somebody else who also has been pursuing really big goals, like really, really big goals. How, when you look back and you think of the journey that you've come on, How can you look at and like how do you address your younger self and how do you appreciate the challenges and things that she has come through, because now you're in such a I see you in a little bit of a softer air which I think I say softer as in strength for people who are. Like it is, it is. I think it's actually this beautiful piece of softness and knowing also like noticing the softness of breath work, but there's a lot of power in breath work too. So I'm just curious when you look back at like your journey and how do you see and appreciate your younger self and all the things that she did to work so hard to get you where you are now?

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there's such a duality to both of that, Marcia. sitting with her. So she started her athletic career about 26 years old, and she was doing it for so many reasons that were outside of herself. She wanted that parent to recognize her. She wanted that parent to show her that she was worthy enough, that she was lovable enough, and it really came out in high achieving athletics where she trained so much and so hard and that's the beauty of that dedication of how hard I worked and how hard that she fought for those goals because I recognized like there was a lot of visualization, there was a lot of breathing within that, there was a lot of pushing past the fear and it was just a different mentality when I did it because I had a goal to get to Ironman Hawaii, the world championship. And so it was, that was a visceral or a physical goal. And so she did so much to achieve that goal that now, as I look back and I'm like, wow, I'm so proud of you. I am so proud of how hard you worked. And I love you. I see you. I witness you. And you are worthy just as you are. And I'm so proud of how far you took yourself into that. And that is the lesson as the 55-year-old me gets to go back and gets to love on her because she was doing it for the right reasons also.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for sharing that because that shows this level. I, that's a, that's a really big question. And I also know it shows a level of healing. I, I do think it comes to a point, you know, it's interesting because I heard today on a podcast, um, it was Brendan Burchard and it just, it really hit me. And he said, you know, everybody wants that back to the future moment. They want to go back to a time where they could have made a different decision where they could have like, and thinking that that one decision was going to change the trajectory of everything else. And if you realize that it's just one decision, then make that decision today, because make the same decision today and watch things unfold and change. So I mean everything we've walked through has built so much strength within us that we get to do the work that we do and share. these tools with others and I'm assuming because the work of Breathwork has been so powerful and empowering for you is why you are feeling so dropped in to share that with others.

SPEAKER_01: Absolutely. Like I, I don't know what happens. I don't know what comes through. I don't know. All I do know is that I see this, like when I was facilitating for you, I see this light that is transmuting literally through me. So I'm, I'm, if you can't see me, so my hands up above my head and this light is coming from above and in through and out of my heart. into the space or into the zoom room. I mean, that's it's it's I'm just this conduit and it's the words I look back and I'm like, wow, where did those words come from? and I don't question them anymore. It's just literally I'm hearing something that is offering to be said to you. Does it land at the time or does it not? Do you take away the lesson 48 hours later or a week later? But it's just this gift that I know that I'm here to do and to be of this light and to be of service and to allow other women to know, no matter what age you are, there is an opportunity to change your trajectory and an opportunity to choose you. And so that is my mission and my purpose is to hold space for as many people as I possibly can in breathwork.

SPEAKER_00: I love, I love, I love, I love that. It's so interesting too because again, you've got two women here in the 50s who are talking about, you know, learning how to choose you, learning how to choose yourself. And I had a client recently talk about her book and what she's doing and how she said, I really hope to help parents with kids under 10 years old to know that they can do this. And she said, because these are the parents that need it the most. I said, actually, everybody needs it. Trust. I just trust me on that. Because you there are so many women who get to this age and they haven't thought about themselves in decades, like decades. It's just they didn't forget putting themselves first. They weren't even on the list. Yeah. And so it's very, this is a very new language to be able to encourage more and more women and not just women, women, men, people put themselves in their own self first so that they can care for themselves, which will then only spill out into all the work that they do.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah. I really feel Marcia that we're in this generation. You and I are in this generation of like big, big space holding for the transformation like the layer of the peeling, like the ripping off of the band aid has really begun with us. like, like, we're able to see how this ripple effect of that bandaid that were ripple that were ripping off gets to be transmuted into generations after us. And to I mean, I have friends in their 40s, and in their 30s, and in their 20s. And I'm like, wow, like, if I knew what you knew, when you're 20s, life would be so different. But yet, like, I mean, we're our parents, my parents, I can speak of my parents, like there was that program that they had to go to a nine to five. They had to raise the kids. They had to have the house and the white picket fence and everything was happy. And then at five years old, my world shattered apart. My parents got divorced, but yet there's always, there was always that anger and that resentment in that generation because like there was just so much turmoil and nobody knew how to deal with it. Nobody knew how to release it and let it go. So I feel like the work that you and I are doing as space holders for other people that in our fifties and our sixties and our seventies, we still can change. We can still be that ripple effect. And so it's just a, such a beautiful, like huge picture vision.

SPEAKER_00: Hmm. Yeah, goosebumps. I love this. I love this. So if people are listening to this, and they're like, Okay, I want to experience breathwork. How do they do that with you? What does that look like?

SPEAKER_01: So if you're in a different place than I am, most generally everybody is because I travel full time in my van. I'm a nomad. I hold breathwork sessions virtually. And Also in person, so I'm going this weekend to a van meetup on the Pacific side of Oregon and holding space for van lifers, which is so beautiful to do. But virtually in a group session, I hold once a month group sessions. I hold private sessions virtually. And then if you're in the area, I am coming up to Vancouver Island to hold a breathwork session at a yoga studio as a pop up event. I mean, I've tried to be as many places as possible to be able to spread this magical gift.

SPEAKER_00: Amazing. Amazing. I will make sure everything is in the show notes so they can connect with you. Where are the best places to connect, follow, and learn more about the work that you do?

SPEAKER_01: I am on Instagram under Victoria Lee Star. So it's L-E-E-S-T-A-R-R. I'm on Facebook under the same name, and my website's Victoria Lee Star also. I also have a podcast, Raw and Radiant, where I talk a lot about, you have been on my podcast also, where we talk about a lot of these transformations at any age of life, and that we get to be this light, this being, and this conduit of beauty and radiance. and showing up raw. So I'm on YouTube too. So, um, yeah, I'm everywhere. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_00: That's awesome. Well, I'm so grateful that I got to have this conversation with you that we got to connect in person. I got to experience your magic through breath work personally. And it really did open my eyes as to like, I want the depth of it. It's that work that I, that I love. So I'm so grateful that you're here and that we've connected and I've been able to share you with my listeners and audience. And I have one more question for you. What lesson in life are you most grateful for?

SPEAKER_01: What lesson in life am I most grateful for? I want to say the first thing that came to me is the lessons that I learn every single day. Like, I'm most grateful for those lessons that I get to learn every single day. Because if I'm not learning, like, am I growing? Am I evolving? So each day is a new lesson to learn. Even when we don't like the lessons? especially. So I had to ask I knew the answer.

SPEAKER_00: But I knew somebody who'd be like, what? It's true. Like we, we don't necessarily like the lessons at the time. But we can look back as you just did so beautifully, like we look back to those younger versions of ourselves. Without learning those lessons, we wouldn't be where we are today either. So they do serve a purpose and are very valuable as well.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Amazing.

SPEAKER_00: Amazing. Thank you so much for being here.

SPEAKER_01: Thank you Marcia for having me. I'm so excited. I appreciate you. You are the heart and soul of Living Raw and Radiant. Take this energy, this courage, and infuse it into every moment of your life. Remember, you have the permission to choose you. I invite you to stay connected, keep shining your light, and continue to embody the essence of Living Raw and Radiant. Together, we are igniting a movement of empowerment, authenticity, and soulful living. Until next time, my friends, keep living your soul's desires.