Can you imagine turning your life around from the depths of trauma and addiction to become a beacon of healing and empowerment?

🌟 Welcome to another inspiring installment of Raw & Radiant! This week, I dive into the incredible story of Kristina Gauthier, a woman who has faced immense challenges and emerged stronger than ever. Her journey from a tumultuous childhood to a life of healing and empowerment is a testament to the power of resilience and self-love.

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Captivating Quote "Regardless of what cards you were dealt, when you choose to come home to yourself and heal your trauma, you too can turn your life around and create the life you've always desired." - Kristina Gauthier

From Trauma to Triumph

Kristina Gauthier’s story begins in a family overshadowed by trauma. Born to a mother struggling with drug addiction and a father with a notorious reputation as a Hells Angel, Kristina faced unimaginable challenges from a young age. Despite these adversities, she chose not to succumb to her circumstances. Instead, she embarked on a journey of healing and empowerment, transforming her life and breaking the cycle of dysfunction.

Breaking Generational Cycles

One of the most compelling aspects of Kristina’s journey is her commitment to breaking generational cycles of trauma and addiction. After the devastating loss of her sister to a fentanyl overdose, Kristina made a pivotal decision to heal. She stepped up to care for her sister’s children, fighting legal battles and providing the love and support they desperately needed.

Choosing Self-Love and Healing

Kristina’s path to healing was not easy. It required deep commitment and inner work. She embraced inner child work, yoga, and breathwork as powerful tools to heal the wounds of her past. Through these practices, Kristina transformed her pain into power, setting a new standard of love and care for her family.

Embracing Solitude and Self-Discovery

Currently, Kristina is on a journey of self-discovery in Puerto Vallarta. Embracing solitude, she has deepened her connection with herself, learning to trust her intuition and step into her full power. This time alone has allowed her to cultivate an even deeper relationship with herself, furthering her healing journey.

Empowering Future Generations

Kristina’s healing journey is creating a ripple effect that extends beyond her own life. By choosing to heal and empower herself, she is setting a powerful example for her niece and future generations. Her story is a shining example of how one person’s journey can change the course of a family’s future.

Key Takeaways

• Healing is Possible: No matter where you come from or the challenges you face, healing and empowerment are within your reach.
• Inner Child Work: Embrace and heal your inner child to unlock profound transformation in your life.
• Breathwork and Yoga: Powerful tools like breathwork and yoga can facilitate deep healing and self-love.
• Generational Healing: Breaking free from generational trauma is a courageous act that benefits not only you but also future generations.
• Trust Your Intuition: Your intuition is a powerful guide—trust it to lead you towards your true path.

Listen to the Full Episode

Kristina’s story is a powerful reminder that no matter where you come from or what you’ve been through, you have the power to heal and create the life you desire. Tune in to the latest episode of Raw & Radiant to hear her full story and be prepared to feel the energy and inspiration radiate through every word.

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Join me for "Roots Reclaimed: A Sacred Journey in Sedona" retreat!

The experience at the Chrysalis mastermind in Sedona was so impactful that I am now co-hosting a retreat to share the transformative energy of these sacred vortexes with others.

📆 Dates: October 31 - November 4, 2024

📍 Location: The sacred lands of Sedona, Arizona

During the Chrysalis mastermind, I realized the profound potential for growth and healing that Sedona holds. Inspired by this, I am co-hosting the "Root Reclaimed: A Sacred Journey in Sedona" retreat to help others experience the same deep transformation.

Some of the transformative gifts we will be offering:

•  Creating Earth Altars: Connect deeply with nature and create sacred spaces.
•  Somatic Breathwork: Release old patterns and heal through the power of breath.
•  Mama Earth Medicine: Embrace the nurturing energy of the earth.
•  Soul Expansion Meditations: Expand your consciousness and connect with your higher self.
•  Sacred Chanting/Drumming Ceremony: Engage in powerful and transformative rituals.
•  Cacao Ceremony: Open your heart with this ancient, sacred tradition.
•  Vortex Hiking Excursions: Experience the unique energy of Sedona’s vortexes.

By sharing this journey, I hope to inspire you to embrace your own transformation, connect with your true self, and celebrate the magic within you. If you’re ready to experience the power of sisterhood and breathwork, join us on this incredible journey. Root Reclaimed: A Sacred Journey in Sedona, October 31 - November 4, 2024, in the sacred lands of Sedona, Arizona.

➡️ Don’t miss this life-changing experience!

Step 1️⃣   Click here to learn more 

Step 2️⃣  Email me: vicki@victorialeestarr to reserve your spot today!

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TRANSCRIPT:

Victoria Starr:
Welcome to Raw and Radiant, the podcast that ignites your spirit and empowers your soul. Are you ready to embark on a transformative journey? Here, we give other women permission to embrace their truth, to find the courage to choose themselves first. Because guess what? You are not alone. Join us in this massive journey of empowerment and courage. Together we'll illuminate your inner spark, empowering you to embrace the radiant light within and show you how magical you are. It's time to unleash your potential and make a difference in this world. Are you ready to step into the raw and radiant version of you? Hello and welcome back to this episode of Raw and Radiant. I am so excited to have this amazing guest with me today, Christina Gauthier. She is a solo line sister that I have chosen as family. We are in this beautiful mastermind together and Like the connection I've I've just just saying your name and seeing your face on the other side of the screen. Christina is like gives me full body chills. But before I get into how we connect, I just want to drop in for the readers like a little bit about yourself. So Christina's early years were far from picture perfect. She was born into a family with a colossal amount of trauma on both her mother and father sides. Throughout Christina's life, her late mother struggled with drug addiction, and her dad is a well-known Hells Angel. After years of dating abusive men, struggling with her own drug addiction, and feeling deeply insecure and unworthy of love or life, she chose to invest in herself and heal. In 2017, Christina's late sister died of a fentanyl overdose, and that's when everything shifted for her. Despite where Christina came from, she chose to lean into her darkness till she found her light and rose above the ashes, making her the first to break the cycle within her lineage. Not only is Christina the first to break the cycle, but she now is rewriting her lineage by showing up first in her late sister's two children's play. Christina is proof that regardless of what cards you were dealt, with when you choose to come home to yourself and heal your trauma you too can turn your life around and create a life you've always desired like just reading that kk i have full body chills on my full body chills like that is so profound so thank you for the thank you for coming to the show thank you for showing up vulnerably and raw in this episode we're going to just have this beautiful, organic conversation of allowing you to be seen, allowing you to be heard, and allowing your story to be witnessed of courage and bravery. So thank you so much for being here.

Kristina Gauthier: Thank you so much for having me and holding space. Just hearing that, I'm emotional. And same thing, chills on chills. I'm like, wow, that is my story. That's wild. and I've survived and come through the other side. It's so beautiful. I'm so proud of myself. So thank you for having me here.

Victoria Starr: Yeah. Oh, I'm so proud of you. All right, so there's so many juicy nuggets that I want to get into in this episode. I might need to have you on a second one, but if it feels right for you, just share a little bit of your story growing up with a mom that was in that space of drug addiction, your sister, and just how it impacted you in that female lineage.

Kristina Gauthier: So on my mom's side, and actually also my dad's side, the boys are put on pedestals, girls are third class citizens. So boys are always right, no matter what, girls are treated like shit. So not only was my mom super abusive, to us girls, my sister and I, because she obviously had quite a hard childhood, right? And then she also added in the addiction. So it was like, she was never the nurturing mom to support, it was always I'm the rival, putting me down verbally about something physically, and then also like throwing in her addiction in the mix. and my sister, my late sister was 13 years older than me. So there was quite the age gap. And you know, when I was quite young, we, she took me out all the time, you know, she tried to get me out of the house as much as she could away from my mom, because she knew my mom was, you know, she was pretty fucked up. And I honor my sister for that my sister didn't have very many more skills than my mom. Like I say, my mom was here, my sister was maybe like one step up from that. But she did the best she could with the skills she had knowing that she was raised by my mom and had a really hard childhood as well. So, you know, I often say to, you know, people, it's like, you know, You know, a lot of people come from trauma, right? But, you know, sometimes they have at least one parent with a decent foundation to support them. And, you know, at least the bills were paid, and there's food in the fridge, and X, Y, and Z, but like, I didn't have shit on either side. Both sides of the foundation was very fucked up and dysfunctional. So I had to put a lot of work in to be this divine goddess that I am today.

Victoria Starr: And she is so beautiful. And the version of you that was growing up in that space and that house, like she is so beautiful also too. Talk to me about, that's the addiction, your sister passed away and now you're raising her two kids, is that correct?

Kristina Gauthier: Yeah, so more my niece than my nephew, because my nephew's still in the house with the dad and his dysfunctional parents. They are the cycle. He's narcissistic, the mom's narcissistic. So because I spoke up, when my sister died, I spoke up and was like, hey, the kid's mom had died. The dad needs to go to rehab. I'll move in. I'll help the family raise these kids. Well, they didn't want that. They all wanted to put their head in the sand. All of a sudden, I became the problem. You're the issue. You're the issue. I took him to court. I fought for parental guardianship for two and a half years for the kids. At the end of it, I didn't end up getting anything. But as soon as I crossed that finish line victory, I knew that there was a bigger and better plan. And it was like, in hindsight, the universe was like, girl, this is your time to heal my whole entire life I had given for everybody else and showing up for everybody else in universe like, No, girl, there's a bigger plan. You need to heal right now. And thankfully so, because I took those years and I full body invested in myself. And now that my niece is back in my life, just shy of five years after we lost my sister, I reconciled with my father. I brought my father back in. And then two months later, he gave the green light for me to, for Liberty to come back into my life. My niece, she's 17 and she's very much struggling with her own drug addiction. Like she just overdosed last weekend again. So, you know, if I wasn't this woman now, Victoria, I wouldn't be able to guide her and lead her. And that's why I needed the time. I needed the time to embody this woman, the woman to show up as the woman I am today, to have the skills to be dropped in, in my power, or else we'd all be fucked. And that's just the truth.

Victoria Starr: Yeah, you would just be repeating that cycle and that cycle just keeps repeating and repeating. And what a gift for your niece and for your nephew to see who you are. They see there's a different way. They see that there's another option. And that is such a true gift to their souls. and to their human selves, right, at this young age. So that's so beautiful. And I'm so like just honoring you and stepping forth and taking care of you and changing, rewriting your story. I love how you put your intergenerational cycle breaker. Let me try that again. Intergenerational cycle breaker. You're rewriting your lineage. Tell me a little bit about that. Like, what does that mean to you?

Kristina Gauthier: Well, like I said, girl, I came from two sides of a lot of dysfunction, right? So it's even the way I show up for my niece with love and not putting her down and not beating her down and not gaslighting her and blaming her for everything, like how I was raised, how my sister was raised, my mom was raised. Right? So it's like actually honoring her as a human and showing up for her in a different way than woman ever in my lineage soft with a soft heart, right with love with unconditional love. And, you know, my dad and her dad and the rest of the people that are in the cycle, they struggle with how I show up for her because it's not their way. And I just say like, Look, I'm not doing it your way. I'm doing it my way. I broke out. This is how I'm doing it. And this is how I know I'll get her out. And so it's, that's a huge part of it right there. And then learning to love myself, no woman in my lineage, or men have loved themselves. I put my own addiction on my own, I, you know, show up and doing all this heal work, healing work, like literally healing, like intergenerational, like not trusting men, not being able to speak my truth to women not being able to speak my truth to men either. Um, learning how to even have a masculine man in my life after I've been severely abused by men my whole life. Right? So feeling that where my mom dated abusive men, my sister dated abusive men, like my grandma, like all men beat the women in my lineage. That's what we come from. So it's like I, when I say I'm rewriting the lineage, like I feel like I'm rewriting the whole fucking story at this point.

Victoria Starr: Yeah, I kind of see like the book closing on that and then a new like a new in a sense, a new journal being open and you're getting to write like how you get to show up and how women get to show up in your lineage. I love that. And give me an idea, like at what age did you become aware that this was a fucked up way of living and how you were treated?

Kristina Gauthier: young, young girl, I've always been super self aware and very emotionally intelligent. And this is actually something that I've been healing and working on. So probably so my dad has five kids by three months. And so my sister and I were with one mom, my one brother was with his mom, and then I have two brothers with a different mom. So my oldest brother, him, he and him and I are about 13 months apart. So we would my dad would often pick us up together. And I recall being in the truck and we would drop off my one brother in the north end of Nanaimo, heated pool, brand new car in the driveway, living on the ocean, right? And then my dad would drop me off in poverty where my mom's smoking crack, sucking dick, there's no power in the house, there's no food half the time. And then my dad would say to me in the truck, you're my favorite. Don't tell anyone, but you're my favorite. I'm your favorite, but yet you're leaving me to go live in poverty and fight for my, like, I was like four or five years old, Victoria, I was young, I was just a baby, like, and so I'm your freighter. But yeah, I'm being ditched to the side. And I'm supposed to fight for my own survival, my basic needs aren't being met. And off he goes being this, like, well known, handsome Hell's Angel and like, traveling the world and women everywhere and living this like lavish life. And I'm going home to no power, I was essentially raised in a trap house. So what, like that just taught my inner child, like one, we don't trust men. That is scary. We can't trust men. If we can't trust our own father, how the fuck can we trust men? And that men just, all they have to do is talk to me. Talk is cheap. They don't have to follow through because that's all my dad gave me. And then if I were to speak up, then I'm going to get gas lit and I'm going to get put down and I'm right because they're exploded on because that's how my dad treated me.

Victoria Starr: Yeah. Yeah. So you became aware of this. You were aware of this, like you're just this sensitive, beautiful soul. I can just feel it. And you were aware of this even at a very young age. Where did you cultivate even deeper awareness that you were going to choose to live differently? Because I know that you have mentioned in your social media that you have been sober for nine months now. That is a beautiful thing to celebrate. So celebrating you big here. So I'm recognizing that there's a part of your life that you weren't. And so where did that awareness like come from? Like, did somebody go, Hey, Christina, knock you upside the head with a two by four? No, probably not. Right. Or was it just like this, this knowing and your light feeling trapped? Like explain that to me.

Kristina Gauthier: So being a little girl, my dad planted the seeds to me once again, three, four years old, probably four or five years old, you'll be the one to break the cycle, you'll be the one to break the cycle. I don't even know what he meant. He obviously could see something within me at such a young age, right? that I didn't even know what that even meant. And so because I've been so self-aware and because like, so my mom was sober until I was four. And then once I was four, she started locking herself upstairs and smoking crack. So I became the parent at like four years old. And so I would watch, right? I'd watch my mom get so fucked up. And then I would watch like my sister, she'd be out partying all the time. And I've always been super self-aware. So I'd be like, okay, I know where that's going to take me. I know where that's going to take me. And I knew Victoria, I had two choices in life. It was either sink or fucking swim. Yeah, I was I wasn't willing to sink. I was like, I'm not doing this. I am not living this life. And I had my own shit. I had a Percocet addiction when I was in my 20s. And, you know, then my niece was born and She when she came to when she was like, probably three, four years old, she we were out one day and I was getting some Percocets. And she said to me, Oh, that's mommy and daddy's friend. So and so and I'm like, Okay, she's self aware. She's very right. So she's now putting the pieces together. And I knew it when she was born. I was like, this little girl is the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen in my life. And she deserves so much better than what my sister and I were given. And so she was always my reason why. And so I knew I was like, I had to take my power back. Like I was like, okay, playing the cape. Okay, here I am going to see the drug dealer, getting the Percocets, eating the Percocets, numbing myself. Oh, I don't even feel good when I'm eating the Percocets. And then I can't shit that I'm backed up, then I'm grumpy. Then it's just like, you know, rotating fucking pattern of me being unhappy. I'm like, Okay, enough of this. We're done with this. I quit doing the Percocets on my own. I'm like, I'm done. Hmm. healed myself just went on started healing myself. So I reconnected my inner child. And then you know, I went on and then I smoked weed for like, after my sister died, I smoked weed for probably six years straight as well. And then once again, like, I really believe that the universe just like pushes things out for you, right? Like all of a sudden I had I was eating lots of edibles. I had a super bad trip. And I was like, terrified. I was like, I'm not doing that. Again, we're done. And then now that I'm nine months sober, Victoria, I had no attentions. Like there was, I love to smoke weed. That was my thing, but I was getting everything done. I didn't feel like it was hindering me at all. I'm not a big drinker. I would just have like a glass of wine with my girlfriends, maybe like once every couple of months, like not a big deal. And then I decided to just do 30 days sober last September. And I did 30 days. I'm like, I'm just going to see how I feel. Like, why not? And then I felt so good in 30 days. And I was like, okay, I feel like I'm just scratching the surface here. And I knew Victoria, like, if I want my kid, Liberty, my niece to be a woman like me, if I want her to show up and to do the healing work, who am I to ask her to show up and regulate her nervous system if I'm sitting here smoking joints to regulate mine? Nobody. Practice what you preach embody what you teach. That is what my motto is. So if I want her to show up and be sober, well, I guess I better walk my fucking talk. Yeah, yeah. So here I am nine months in like I'm not going forever. I know that. But I don't know how long I said one year I'll reevaluate me. But I feel fantastic.

Victoria Starr: So and what if it is forever? Like what if like that's that's the choice you get to you get to write in your in your new journal in your new book, right? So, so beautiful. Liberty is so blessed to have you. So I want to talk about, you're talking about this healing work. What are your, if you want to say modalities, tools, what is your healing work? Like if somebody is not understanding what healing work is and give them an idea, because I know what mine is and I talk about it all the time, give them, you know, a little bit of tidbit of what your healing work is.

Kristina Gauthier: Hmm, whatever. Healing is like everything I believe in. Absolutely. I do a lot of inner child work. I do a lot of inner child work of like really just sitting with little Christina, holding her, asking her what do you need? How can I advocate for her day to day? What does she want to do today? What makes her feel good? What doesn't make her feel good? journal, I feel it to feel it. So it's like I'm not spiritually bypassing. You know, I've been in the trenches, Victoria for probably five years of like, and sometimes it takes me months, like two, three months where I'm just like, low, feeling it, healing it. And I'm not, it's just where I'm at. And that's okay. I'm okay with that. Um, yoga has been huge for me. I'm a big yogi girl. I love yoga, kundalini practices, meditation, some breath work I've been doing. Yeah, I'm gonna go do my first ayahuasca retreat in November. So that's exciting. I have done some plant medicine with some mushrooms.

Victoria Starr: Yeah, yeah, that's not for the faint of heart that the inner child work I'm here to be an advocate for anyone that's moving through anything that feels stuck and trapped like that's where That's where the healing happens, because our subconscious mind is programmed and formulated from the ages of zero to seven, and that's where all our stuff, our programs, our mind has learned to live its life. And for no fault of its own, like the ego, the subconscious is there to keep us safe. But yet your safety was trying to keep yourself safe and parent another person. You know, keep yourself out of harm's way. And so there is a lot of work that gets to be changed and rewritten within the brain. And those subconscious patterns, we have the choice to change that. And that's so beautiful. And you're such a shining light for that. that is so beautiful living that past that you did and knowing that healing is not linear. Like there's ups and downs and ups and downs. And I know currently at the time of this recording, you're in Puerto Vallarta right now doing, please share what you're doing because it's so powerful. Like it gives me chills more.

Kristina Gauthier: Oh girl, there's so much healing that came from this trip that I wasn't expecting. I came and took a two month sacred pause in Puerto Vallarta. My soul was just telling me like, girl, just go, you're a projector, recharge. And I'm like, yes, I love this idea, let's do it. So I arrive at, in Puerto Vallarta and, you know, I had a little friend with benefits before I got here, a little boy toy. And he was, you know, part of the reason why I came here. Back home, I do great on my own. I am so happy to be on my own, to go to yoga, to do my little Saturday market, this, that, and everything, recharge on the weekends. But when I got to this country, it was like, what is going on? I'm in a new country. I don't really know anyone. I don't know the language. I'm away from everybody. And then I could feel that him and I weren't an energetic mess. And I knew coming into this about like, literally at the 50% mark, the universe was saying to me, Christina, you need to let him go. There was so many signs of like, you need to let him go. Like part two of this trip is coming girl, you need to let him go. That was really scary for me. And like, if I let him go, he's the only human connection I have in this country. Like you want me to now spend a month by myself and not have anybody like what am I gonna do all day? Like, how is this gonna work? But because the universe I believe so much in the universe wholeheartedly and the signs and listening as like, Hey, you got to go. So I ended it, I took that leap. And, you know, I one of my coaches that I work with, she had said before I even got here, she's like, you know, I know that we know that he wasn't my forever, he was just meant to get me here to Puerto Vallarta. And then I'm going to go through the birthing canal and birth into the next version of the woman that I meant to be. literally 50% the day of, it was like, we're done, you're out, a part two of this trip is coming in. And so now I think it's been like today's day 19 that I've been on my own. And so really feeling that, like, I'm alone. I've always wanted to, like, go out and eat in restaurants when I was home by myself. But like, I was always too afraid of that alone feeling or go do like day trips. But like, that was that was too much like I that was too alone for me. So this not having him here is really pushing me to do that. I'm going out to meals by myself. I've gone for day trips by myself. And so it's like I've cultivated an even deeper relationship with little Christina, right? She trusts me now on an even more deeper level. And I'm like, I'm not alone. I have her and I've been meeting these great people out. And it's really like, helped me step into like more of my power. And then that was the first beginning part. And now the second part right now, what I've been working through is my coach has me, because I'm really working on calling in my man, my dream partner, I've been single for five years, I've done so much work on myself. And I'm really ready to start to share my life with somebody. And so I have been working. So for the last week, I've been sitting my coaches asked me to sit with all the grief and the shame. even on my journey and sitting with those trauma sisters and like, seeing them, loving them, holding them, letting it dissolve and going and just like Victoria, after I come out of meditation, you know, usually I've been spending about 35-45 minutes doing some breath work and sitting with them. I feel so much lighter. I feel so beautiful after I'm like, Wow, just like little Christina. She's like, What the fuck are we doing? Why would we go back into that? We've been like, storing that away for a long time for a reason. Like and now you want me to look at this again? And I'm like, Yeah, girl, I got you. We're okay. We're safe to do this. And so now I'm working through all of that.

Victoria Starr: So there is such a power in releasing those energetic cords. There's such a power because that's something that I've been working with lately too, is that I have had multiple marriages and I have not released those energetic cords. And so as of 54 and three quarters, I am working on releasing those energetic cords because our energy stays with that person or that person's energy stays with us. we're intertwined when we're in a relationship with somebody and we merge. And so if you don't do that active work of releasing those cords, letting them go, whatever that looks like for you is giving that version of you some grace and some love and compassion to release those and release that shame, that guilt, and that regret. Then that person has the space to go do what they need to do or want to do. And so do you. It's like that separation. So that's so, so beautiful. Wow. I love your journey in Puerto Vallarta. This is so beautiful witnessing you and watching you walk this path. And it's so empowering, Christina. I know that one of the things that you keep talking about is self-love, self-love, love yourself, self-love. If you don't wake up daily and love your life, do you have anything at all? Do you want to extrapolate on that?

Kristina Gauthier: Oh, girl, just that do you have anything at all? Right? Like, my whole life I dated these men that could like buy me Louis Vuitton bags and buy me nice trips and buy me things because I thought that that's what I wanted. That's what I needed. That's what I was raised to believe, right? As long as you have material, you're good. But I was so miserable. I was so fucking miserable. I hated myself. I didn't like my life. I was like putting up with shit from men that like what like no. And then my sister died. And it like, rang my bell so hard. Victoria was such my spiritual waking that I took a hard look around. I was in a relationship. I don't even like you. I don't care what you're buying me anymore. I don't like you. I go sit in an apartment building with, you know, on milk crates and craft dinner for three months if I have to as long as I'm away from you. And I just went on this like, powerful healing journey, like the first two and a half years, I wouldn't let a guy talk to me, text me for it with me, no dating home by myself every night, yoga, journaling, feeling doing everything and just really connecting with myself and showing up for me and learning to love myself all pieces of the shadows, the goods, the bads, you know, my lessons, my blessings. And that's when everything changed. Like, I see all these people all the time that are wearing these masks that are like, Oh, you know, life's so great. And we have this and that and that. And there's like, but you don't even like yourself when you look in the mirror. Yeah, yeah. So what is that any of that shit even matter at the end of the day? I don't care what car you're driving. If you don't like yourself at the if you don't like yourself at the end of the day, or when you look at yourself in the mirror, as far as I'm concerned, you don't have anything at all. I want it all. I want the inner happiness. I want the love. I want the Louis Vuitton bag. I want I want it all to give back to my community because we can have it all. Why not?

Victoria Starr: Yeah. Wow. I'm getting heated up. I need to take off my jacket. There's so much power in this room. Wow, I just want to go back and reflect to the little Christina that she witnessed her brother being dropped off at the very fancy house with the fancy cars and like and that's what you gravitated towards because you thought at that moment as the little girl that that's what brought happiness when that whole cycle was like, I'm just going to see is like a veil. It was like a false sense of love. And now that you've walked that path in those relationships of like, OK, I've had that, but there still is an emptiness there. There still is that loneliness there. You may be with somebody in a marriage or in a partnership, but you're incredibly lonely, right? So that's so beautiful for you to witness in yourself and for us to be able to watch that unfold in this short amount of time in this space. Something else that if you can't look in the mirror and be proud of the person who's looking back at you, explain that.

Kristina Gauthier: That's like it says, girl, like if you, if you count and you're wearing that mask, you're living in your old narratives of like, you're not worthy this reason, that reason, whatever the reasons are that you're telling yourself, like if you, at the end of the day, can't look at yourself and be like, I'm proud of you, like wholeheartedly embodied, proud of you for what you're doing. Like, do you have anything at all? What is the point? Like, what are you teaching your kids? Like, what are you teaching your community? Like, I'm so aware of like the woman that I am and how I show up because that's how I want my kids to show up. No ifs, ands, or buts. Yeah. So it's like, I look right in the mirror, like I, I'm known to call my girlfriends and like, if I see something that's out of alignment, and they're not integrity, I'm like, hey, we need to have a chat. But I also do it towards myself. Like I'm very good at recognizing patterns. And if patterns are coming up, like, hey, girl, like, this is now becoming a pattern. And this is what we stand for. Hmm.

Victoria Starr: Do you have this written down somewhere or is it just that this inner knowing, like do you see it on a post-it on the mirror or do you write it with lipstick on the mirror so you can see it or is it just this inner knowing that your intuition turns on, you get a gut visceral response, do you receive like, how do you know?

Kristina Gauthier: Inner knowing. Absolutely. Just I just, I know, like, I practice what I preach and embody what I teach. Like, I coach my clients, and I would never ask my clients to go somewhere that I've never been before. Like, who am I, you know, who am I to do that? Nobody. Like, if I'm not willing to take myself to the depths, well, I can't expect anybody else to.

Victoria Starr: What is your inner knowing? Is it a vision? Is it a feeling? Is it, like, what is your inner knowing? Because I know it's different for everyone. Do you receive downloads? Like, how do you receive that?

Kristina Gauthier: It's an inner knowing. Like, it's like my body knows it. I receive downloads. I see visions. I get, like, little pieces of things. Numbers are really big to me. Like, my sister communicates with me through, if you haven't talked to, the day she was born, the day she died. My risk is like Victoria is everywhere, like everywhere she's coming at me and I can hear her bring me messages. Like before I brought my dad back in my life, she would like send her numbers with my dad's initials and she'd be like, go kill your relationship with that, go kill your relationship with that. And as soon as I healed my relationship with my dad, two months later, he brought my niece back in. Right. So it's like and then it's like she just she brings me these these messages like all the time.

Victoria Starr: That's so beautiful. Wow. I love her. I love her guidance for you. Yeah. And then the inner knowing is just learning to trust that inner knowing it's shutting out that noise that pre programmed the pre-program program or the programs that have cultivated over time. And the brain gets in that, I call it that toilet bowl swirl of the shit stories that you're telling yourself. And it's shutting that out and getting really vulnerable and raw with yourself and go, okay, is that a story that I have made up or am I really, is this right for me? And listening for the answer.

Kristina Gauthier: Absolutely. Learning how to trust that intuition is a whole journey on its own. Right? We've been, I'm sure you can agree, we've been taught our whole lives to not trust it, disconnect from it, you know, go with outside of ourselves. Oh, this is what, you know, this is the answer. We know better than you. And it's like, Whoa, whoa, whoa, reversing that. And this is something that I'm teaching my niece all the time. Like, what is your body telling you? Your body knows the answer. Right. And so it's like, I just asked, like, when I want to know something, I sit and it's like, if it's expensive, it's a yes. If it's contracting, it's a no. And sometimes it just feels like a little bit of this. And it's like, the answer is just not clear yet.

Victoria Starr: Yeah. And you can and you can you can wait for the response. You don't have to immediately react. I think we're such a society of instant reaction because we're living on that nervous system dysregulation. So I'm just going to react rather than sit in that pause so that you can respond and respond after you receive that intuition, after you receive that knowing, after you receive that. visual or the, the full body chills or the gut, the gut response, like whatever it is for you. And it's what you, you know, maybe what you are more in tune with. Cause everybody has it all right. It's just more of what you can listen to. So, um, that's so that's such a gift. Is there anything else that you'd like to share with the community before we, um, drop into the final question?

Kristina Gauthier: Choose yourself. It is not selfish to choose yourself. That is the one of the best lessons, the best lesson I've ever learned in my life was to choose myself. Yeah. And when I choose myself, when I feel myself, I'm healing my niece, I'm healing my lineage, I'm healing my late ancestors. And it's like, I get to live this beautiful life. And it all comes to our own personal voice.

Victoria Starr: I love that you're creating the ripple for generations to come. And that's something that I said to myself when I left Costa Rica and I left the narcissistic abusive relationship is like, I choose me. I'm choosing me. And that's I think that's just the whole that that whole sentence just sums up this whole conversation is just you get to choose you because the more that you choose you, the more that you have the capacity in the space for other people. It's when we give, give, give, give, give, like we have tapped out and we're just giving from the nothingness and that's giving from that program of what we should and shouldn't do. So thank you so much for being here. I'm so excited that we've had this conversation and tell the listeners where they can reach you, where they can find you, where they can work with you.

Kristina Gauthier: Facebook, I'm on Instagram, Instagram is definitely my most active, you'll put you'll put my handle in the chat. Yep, yep, perfect. And I'm taking one to one coaching clients on where I do a three month, six month container and then a couple other smaller. containers I'm offering. And just like, when you're ready to choose yourself, when you're ready to cut the bullshit, and really, I'll teach you how to heal into your inner child and create a life that you love from the inside out. Because really, everything starts with inside, right? And when we how we feel internally, is how our life is externally. So

Victoria Starr: just guide you from the inside out. I love that. So if you have any questions, head to Christina's website. Also, there's a lot of information on there. I was just before we got on this call scouring it and drop her DM on Instagram if you have any questions specifically of how what work she holds you in, what safe space that she holds you in to see you, to love you and to nurture you. So before we go, I always ask all my guests one final question, and I think we've probably pretty much answered this question, but just to keep the continuity of it, Christina, if you could go back to a younger version of yourself, what would you tell her and why? Oh, she's worthy. Yeah.

Kristina Gauthier: She's full body worthy, and she'll make it. Yeah, like she'll do big big things like this version of me Victoria. I had no idea. Like, you would you would ask me even in my 20s I'd have been like, what, like, I don't even know that girl from back then there's been so much growth and so. Yeah, she's worthy. You're worthy. The listeners are worthy. We're all worthy. We've always been worthy. We're always will be worthy. And it just comes down to that choice of choosing ourselves. And, you know, what do we want to show our kids? Right? What do you want to show up as a parent? How do you you know, do you want your child to choose themselves and love themselves? Well, it has to start with us. You know, it's not they are just going to learn and do it on their own, or they need their role model, they need to see what that looks like. And, you know, maybe our listeners, your listeners don't have the power to choose themselves for themselves. Like I didn't when I got sober, I did it for my niece, because I loved her more than I loved myself. But she just got that ball rolling for me. And then I was like, Hey, no, this I'm worthy of this. Yeah. So if the listeners don't have a reason that they just don't find that in themselves right now in this moment, that's okay. I get that your child, your dog, your aunt, someone that you look up to, you know, that's a beautiful human, choose somebody and just day by day, it's all you have to take one day at a time and choose yourself and show up, you know, one foot in front of the other and start to show up a little different.

Victoria Starr: I love that. Thank you. Thank you for sharing that. Yep. Choose you and choose like if you have somebody you can use them as your guiding light or you can choose yourself as your guiding light because you know you have the feeling, you have the intuition, you have the knowing that You're so worthy. So thank you so much for sharing that. And I love you and I can't wait to see you soon in real life. And I'll drop all the information in the show notes until next time. Thank you all for being here. If you feel called to share this episode, Christina's Powerful Journey, please do so. Like, subscribe, share, do all the things. And until next time, I will see you all on the next recording. Bye.

Kristina Gauthier: Love you.

Victoria Starr: You are the heart and soul of Living Raw and Radiant. Take this energy, this courage, and infuse it into every moment of your life. Remember, you have the permission to choose you. I invite you to stay connected, keep shining your light, and continue to embody the essence of Living Raw and Radiant. Together, we are igniting a movement of empowerment, authenticity, and soulful living. Until next time, my friends, keep living your soul's desires.