Hey there beautiful souls!

Do you ever find yourself lost in the endless scroll of social media, feeling like everyone else has it all figured out while you’re left behind? It’s a feeling many of us know all too well. In my latest podcast episode, I dive into the emotional rollercoaster of comparison and how it can steal our joy.

For the past few weeks, I’ve been grappling with these feelings of inadequacy, especially when seeing others’ highlight reels on social media. It’s easy to forget that these snapshots are just the tip of the iceberg, not the full story. This realization hit me hard, and I knew I had to dig deeper.

Recognizing the Impact of Comparison [TUNE IN HERE]

Comparison often leads to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. When we compare ourselves to others, we measure our worth against a highlight reel that doesn’t show the full picture. This can create a cycle of negativity that’s hard to break.

Finding Solace in Nature and Breathwork

I found solace in nature, sitting quietly and connecting with my breath. This practice helped me to clear the mental clutter and reconnect with my inner self. Here’s a simple breathwork exercise to help you get started:

 1. Find a Quiet Space: Whether it’s in nature, your bedroom, or a cozy corner, choose a place where you feel at peace.

 2. Deep Breathing: Inhale deeply through your nose, sending the breath down to your belly. Count to four as you inhale.

 3. Slow Exhale: Exhale slowly through your nose, pulling your belly button towards your spine. Count to seven as you exhale.

 4. Repeat: Continue this for five to seven rounds or as long as you feel comfortable.

Cultivating Self-Validation

This simple yet powerful practice can help you shift from a state of comparison and self-doubt to one of self-love and empowerment. Remember, your journey is unique, and you are enough just as you are.

🌵 JOIN the Roots Reclaimed: A Sacred Journey in Sedona Retreat ⬇️

 If you’re feeling the call to embrace immense transformation and embark on a spiritual path but aren’t sure how to get there, join me and my soul sister, Ashley D. Adam, for the Roots Reclaimed, A Sacred Journey in Sedona Retreat. This transformative retreat, happening from October 31st to November 4th, 2024, will help you let go of the past and step boldly into your future. Awaken your intuition, restore your innate feminine essence, and experience deep healing through somatic breathwork, sacred earth altars, tribal body painting, and more.

Learn more and claim your spot here: [Retreat Information]

Join the Conversation 📞

I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences. Have you struggled with comparison? How do you reconnect with yourself? Share your insights in the comments below!

Until next time, keep believing in yourself and living your soul’s desires. 💖

Listen to the full episode here: [Podcast Link]

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TRANSCRIPT:

Hey, Raw and Radiant Tribe, before we hop into today's episode, I've got something absolutely magical to share with you. Imagine this, a sacred ceremony, a potent retreat, and the chance to transform your life in the most beautiful way. Are you intrigued? Well, let me personally invite you to join me and my soul sister, Ashley D. Adam, for Roots Reclaimed, A Sacred Journey in Sedona Retreat. We're talking about Sedona, one of the most magical and healing places on earth. With its vortexes and high vibrational frequency, it's the perfect backdrop for our retreat happening from October 31st to November 4th, 2024. Ladies, if you're feeling the call to embrace immense transformation, to embark on a spiritual path but aren't sure how to get there, this retreat is for you. It's time to let go of the past and to step boldly into your future. Awaken your intuition and restore your innate feminine essence. Now let me give you a little sneak of what's in store. We'll be creating sacred earth altars, diving deep into somatic breathwork, connecting with mama earth medicine and receiving private soul activation readings. How juicy does that sound? Plus, we've got tribal body painting with some fun jewelry, chanting and drumming, cacao ceremonies, and so much more. If this sounds like the transformative experience you've been waiting for, check out the show notes for more details and to claim your spot. Trust me, you're not going to want to miss this. All right, let's hop into the show. Please know that within this episode, there are a few sacred pauses thanks to the Starlink not connecting as it should. So knowing those sacred pauses, I will be back momentarily. And there's just a couple blips in this episode. So thank you for being patient. Welcome back to another episode of Raw and Radiant. I am so grateful that you are here. I am so grateful that you are a part of this community and allowing me to hold you in the space of being raw, being authentic and showing that there is light. There is light at the end of the tunnel and that you are a radiant being within you. Today, I want to talk about comparison. I've been sitting with these feelings of comparison within me for the past few weeks, and honestly, truly, it is something that's been really uncomfortable, and I haven't been able to, for about a week and a half, been able to put a word to the feelings that I have been feeling. Now, there is good comparison and there is bad comparison. And first, I wanna talk about the comparison that is the negative experience. And knowing that we are humans in this human journey, that a lot of people struggle with comparison, especially in this age of social media, where everyone's successes is highlighted on the reels of Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, all the places, and they're constantly on display, and they're the top 1% of the 1%. And in all honesty, it's just a reel of a highlight of what they're going through, what their life is, and what they choose to put out there, right? So a comparison is how we measure our worth against others, and it's often leading to feelings of this deep inadequacy within ourself. We self-doubt ourself. It creates this low self-esteem. And so when I was sitting with these feelings that I couldn't put a word to, I just felt really down on myself. I just felt really heavy. These feelings of not-enoughness were present, and it was really beginning to feel frustrated and disappointed within me. that I couldn't, A, name these feelings, but I couldn't achieve the equivalent of what I was seeing on the outside for myself. And there's a very famous quote by President Theodore Roosevelt. It is, comparison is the thief of joy. And yes, in this perspective that I'm bringing into the space right here, right now, yes, comparison has been the thief of my joy. And I have been needing to sit in the silence. I have been needing to sit in nature and just to connect with myself and connect with these feelings. And once the word came into my vortex of what I was feeling, like now it's time to clear out the muck. it's time to ask myself, why am I feeling these feelings? Because when we look at the reels on social media, we really don't know the full story, do we? And is everything really as it seems? There's multitude of variables within the story of the reels that we see on social media. We don't have full access to all the information in somebody's life. We don't know what causes them to put out these descriptions, how they want to play the game. Bringing that into the space too, like this life, it's just this big game, this game of how we're playing it too. So having this comparison has really been this thief of joy within my last couple of weeks. And like I said, it's clearing out the muck. So once I really recognize what the feeling was within me, was really getting silence. It was really sitting in nature, was really connecting to me, connecting to the wisdom of my breath. It was connecting to the stillness that's within me and really asking myself these questions like, why am I feeling this? What am I feeling? What is present? Where am I feeling it within my body? And B, like, I don't fucking want to feel like this anymore. So let's clear the shit out. So this comparison is really this external validation from someone else, and it's not a solid foundation for this well-being. And recognizing that this external validation that I was actually wanting from others outside of myself, I should have been able to give to myself. I should have been able to internally validate me. So sitting with that perspective, sitting with that big sentence of being able to validate my own well-being that I that and I hate using the word should, but in this instance is I get to validate myself because as being a former high-level athlete, I was competing in Ironman triathlons and marathons and ultra distance marathons and weightlifting for external validation. I can look back at myself and those 30, the ages between 30 and 50 years old that I was really seeking external validation, specifically from a toxic relationship of a parent. And not disvalidating all the hard work and all the determination that I was using to get to my end goal. And that's where comparison can be a really good thing. So I wanna bring in this duality aspect of comparison now, because in that timeframe, when I was working so freaking hard, putting in the hours and falling and falling forward and learning the lessons and striving harder and you know, eating differently and maybe training differently and trying different modalities of swimming and, and doing all these things that could help me achieve a certain outcome. Because the comparison at that time is the can I eat better, how can I train differently? How can I have a coach to help me achieve that outcome? But in the past week and a half, when I've been feeling this comparison, I've recognized that I've been spending a lot of time scrolling. I've been spending a lot of time witnessing like, like people within my space are achieving what they're saying as six figures in a month. Enough really was present. So I had to sit with what was relatable for me. And so I want to take you through a little story here of a relatable instance that when you're feeling this comparison, Imagine that you're waking up in an unknown land. All you see around you are green plains and fields and trees, and you're witnessing just the beauty and the magic that's around you. But in this situation, you ask yourself this, who can you rely on? There's no one else around. Who can you rely on? Maybe you're hoping that someone might show up and save you. Maybe they won't. However, you are there. You can save you. You can show up for you. And in the end, the most reliable person in any situation is you. You are with yourself the most often in these scenarios and others are not. So therefore, others are fleeting. They come and go in our life. They have their own lives. They have their own things that they're dealing with, but you are never fleeting. You are always there with you. And so I like to think of this story because this is an opportunity to come back and to validate me. When I want praise from others, I get to give it to myself. I don't have to worry about how others are going to see me or how they're going to react to certain situations. I get to validate me from my own experiences and from my own reality. It's my story. This comparison doesn't need to be here. I get to keep believing in myself. As a matter of fact, I have a post-it on my wall right now that says comparison. I have a big heart written on there and underneath it, it says keep believing in myself. So if I learn to be my own source of validation, I can acquire this wellbeing within me. I can simply be my own limitless supply. And so what are some of the tools that I use to recognize that? Like I said, I like to go in nature. I like to be in solitude. And there is nothing wrong with that. When we're in this world, in this society of constantly going and constantly being, if you can create some silence, some time alone for yourself. And for me, what fills my heart is being in nature. being underneath the trees being underneath the foliage being by a body of water so really what resonates with you may not resonate really what resonates with me may not resonate with you it's a different situation maybe it's sitting in a bathtub maybe it is at a coffee shop But really find that place where you can cultivate your own source of validation where you can be your own limitless supply and then i want you to connect to your breath i want you to recognize where and how you're breathing and that's been a topic of conversation in my world lately is how do i connect to my breath what is that even mean. is I want you to sit in that place or that is of your solitude, that place that brings you the most amount of joy. And I want you to see where you're breathing from. Are you breathing from your chest or are you breathing from your belly? If you're breathing from your chest, you're probably in this sympathetic nervous system, this fight or flight, this very limited, shallow breathing place. And for me, that's when I know that things are not in alignment. So if you can simply redirect your breath, and I know you can, it is not a, I cannot do it. It is really becoming mindful with your breath. Breathe in through your nose, breathing in deeply. And as you breathe in, I want you to think about sending your breath to your belly. And when you send your breath through your belly and breathing in through your nose, that belly button is extending away from you as you're breathing in. I know it's counterintuitive to what we probably have thought or done in the past, And then as you breathe out, I want you to exhale through your nose and bring your belly button to your spine. And I want to add one more caveat to this, is as you breathe in, I want you to breathe in, pressing your belly button out to a count of four. And exhale through your nose, a slow, long exhale, pulling your belly button to your spine to a count of seven. getting quiet, getting still, getting into the space of your breath. And I want you to do that for either five to seven rounds, or if you feel really called to do it for 10 minutes, that's such a beautiful practice that allows you to become in alignment with the right here, right now, so that you can cultivate the self-acceptance of yourself, so that you can cultivate this opportunity that you get to be your own muse. You get to believe in yourself and it allows you to reframe your thoughts from the negative. I am comparing myself to somebody that's making six figures and how are they showing up? I don't know the full story. I don't know how they're struggling. I don't know who else is on their team who is helping them. I don't know what they've had to go through in their lifetime to be able to get to that space. So this is my story. This is how I get to rewrite my story. This is how I get to change my thoughts. This is how I get to build my own self-esteem. So thank you for listening to me. If you have any questions, if you have any insights, if this resonates with you, please, please, please, please like, share, subscribe, do all the things, share this podcast, share this message to friends and know that this comparison is a real human thing. Don't beat yourself up for it. Just allow yourself to see and witness what's here. What's present? How can I redirect? How can I shift the thoughts? How can I come back to my breath? How can I learn to believe in myself again? So until next time, I'm sending so much, so much love. Thank you for listening. And I will see you on the next episode. You are the heart and soul of Living Raw and Radiant. Take this energy, this courage, and infuse it into every moment of your life. Remember, you have the permission to choose you. I invite you to stay connected, keep shining your light, and continue to embody the essence of Living Raw and Radiant. Together, we are igniting a movement of empowerment, authenticity, and soulful living. Until next time, my friends, keep living your soul's desires.